mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
