I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
you never un-have a 4some
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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