Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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