is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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