Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
