lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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