Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
