I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
