This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
