I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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