I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
