well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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