what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
