you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
