Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
