Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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