This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
