I need help removing her.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
