i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
