nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We need a shit load of segways right now
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I have aggressive nipples.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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