I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
