i barfeds in our rink
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize