and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
