apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
