Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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