party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I deserve this hangover.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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