Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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