i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
