Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
