Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
