My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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