WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
