I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
