I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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