Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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