I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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