i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
