Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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