So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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