I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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