Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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