youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
