We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
