I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
