Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
