ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize