So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
