And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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