You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
