She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
