Jerry, you need to find god
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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