Don't make out with my wife yet
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I AM VODKA MAN
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
