She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We have started to decorate penises.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
