Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
