This beer is not sobering me up at all
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
