sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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