I never want to see another naked old woman again.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
