life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
