apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
