Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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