youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize