problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize