Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just invented taco cereal.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
