He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
