38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
pop tarts are not kleenex
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
