he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
