I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just want to make out with him forever
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
