I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
